What the Dalai Lama and a Dinosaur Can Teach Us About Being Not Okay

The need to feel okay is one of the most basic motivators of human behavior. “Okay” largely encompasses feelings of safety, comfort and confidence, so we humans will do all kinds of things just to feel okay. We go get a fresh haircut right before a big job interview or presentation. We make the extra […]

When the lack (or presence) of a valid System of Negotiation comes full circle (Part 4)

3) A sale is a voluntary exchange that requires, and is based on, an agreement that is voluntarily reached An often unseen reality One of the most challenging lessons that we human beings need to live but often don’t is to respect, value, feel completely safe, comfortable and at peace with the freedom of others […]

When the lack (or presence) of a valid System of Negotiation comes full circle (Part 3)

2) The exchange of money, and the real/perceived conflict of motives. Any person who writes about being careful about the impact of money in influencing our decisions runs the risk of sounding “preachy”. However, after each scandal, we collectively wring out hands and enact legislation to make the unrestrained pursuit of profit difficult. Humanity seems […]

When the lack (or presence) of a valid System of Negotiation comes full circle (Part 2)

7 things to keep in mind when thinking about sales 1) A sale often occurs between people who up to that point were strangers to each other One of the dogmas in the world of sales is that it occurs (or according to some versions, it occurs best) within the context of a relationship. The […]

Negotiating with real or phantom adversaries?

In many negotiation situations, we humans act on the basis of what can best be described as an intuitive sense regarding who wields decision making rights in a group setting. After identifying such people, we often initiate the negotiation with that person through an intermediary. This implies that we identify those (we believe) wield influence […]

Negotiation and Cold Calling: What is your organization up to? (Conclusion)

The link between individual and team effort When I started this piece, I deliberately did not plunge into a description of the difficulties and challenges encountered on a call. These are important – and I daresay most people will readily admit to the existence of those difficulties and challenges. I also suspect that many will […]

Negotiation and Cold Calling – What is your organization up to? (Part 13)

22) You agree to a follow up call or secure a face to face meeting without negotiating an agenda In the previous post I wrote for this series, I concluded with the point that your adversary asking for a presentation can actually be a problem that you encounter or cause. To conclude it is an […]

Negotiation and Cold Calling – What is your organization up to? (Part 12)

19) What is the next decision you seek? A characteristic feature of the way untrained negotiators speak is to think in terms of a favorable outcome or event. How many times have you heard these or similar things? “I want to get that job” “I want at least a 20% hike on my current salary” […]

“Dangling decisions”

Over the past few months, I have become fascinated by a reality I have come to term “dangling decisions”. I have noticed that this particular “variety” of decisions is a staple feature in our individual and collective lives. By dangling decisions I am not referring to the mistaken decisions we make. We can’t avoid making […]

Negotiation and Cold Calling – What is your organization up to? (Part 11)

(Problems that individuals encounter and/or cause cont’d) 14) The fear of “no” For many people, no implies the end of the conversation. In cold calling, often, a certain kind of “no” actually is the end of the conversation. The person you are calling is spending time on the call because he/she decides to do so. […]